did you read this?written by alison
After almost 20 months, I’m honestly shocked at the number of articles that still seem to “pop-up” relating to headaches and migraines on a regular basis. “Did you [read/see/watch] this?” is a question that I get asked 3-5 times a week. For the last 85 weeks.
For my non-math wizards, that’s an average of 340 items suggested to me in an effort to rid my body of the daily pain.
Maybe there are weeks I’m forgetting where nothing was sent, but even if you cut that number in half, it’s still a large pool of content to sift through for my cure.
But let me back up, because I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful bitch.
I love that people care about me enough to not only think about me but also try to help. I love that people don’t want to see me suffering day after day and want to do their part to make it stop. I love being loved by others.
But when each day starts with “oh fuck, the headache is still there,” I don’t want another article to read. I don’t want to be treated like I haven’t literally thrown the book at this illness. I don’t want anything but a shoulder to cry on and the occasional cat gif.
I lost count of the number of doctors that have been involved, not to mention the number of doctor’s visits. I stopped tracking the cost of finding a solution after hitting $13,000. (My therapist decided that wasn’t helping me, she’s likely right in that.)
As much as I love people caring enough to send articles to read, I would love to trade those for being asked how I’m doing, minutes of listening or sharing a dirty joke that I haven’t heard before.
If you’re one of approximately 200 people who sent me an article, do not feel bad. Just like me on any given day, you were doing the best you could.